Scars Page 7

  Caleb wanted more from Henry, but at the same time, he didn’t trust that what had happened at breakfast was real. The tender way Henry had kissed him made him feel like he was wanted, but the reason behind the kiss spoiled that feeling. Caleb had been upset, and Henry had kissed him to shut him up. There was no longing there.

  Henry had been using him.

  Thinking about it made Caleb feel exhausted, and he hunkered down on the couch and tried to still his thoughts. His head ached, and he was starting to feel clammy. Caleb chalked it up to nerves. No one had been as nice to him as Henry had been since he’d been burned, and to think that the kiss was a lie didn’t sit well with him.

  Which is why he had to stop thinking about it. Sit down, shut up, and wear beige. Isn’t that what they told older women to do? It wasn’t a nice thing, but his pressure garments were beige and he was too tired to get up and his thoughts – well, they could certainly do with a little shutting up.

  The channel Caleb settled on appeared to be a soap opera. Two beautiful women, one a stunning brunette with voluminous hair, and the other a busty blonde, confronted each other in a living room too perfect to be real. The immaculate furniture and expensive decor were way too Hollywood, and the little dresses both of them wore weren’t something Caleb imagined a woman would wear day-to-day.

  “Jessica, listen. Robert’s been playing us both.” The blonde said, crossing her arms over her chest. She pouted her lips, but her eyes were sharp.

  “What?” The scene cut to Jessica, the brunette, her full red lips pulled into a scowl. “Robert is my fiancé. He’s not playing me. Don’t lie — you’re jealous, and you’re trying to come between us. Well, I’m not going to let you, Britney! Robert is my man.”

  “You need to listen to me,” Britney insisted. “Robert’s been cheating on you with me. He told me that the two of you were over, and I, a fool, believed his lies. All this time I thought I was his one and only, but when I saw your picture with him at the gallery the other day, I knew that he’d been playing me all along. That man is allergic to the truth.”

  In the background, dramatic music played. Caleb shook his head, but he couldn’t stop himself from watching. Most of the time, he didn’t bother with daytime television, but there was something about the situation that stuck with him.

  “So what?” Jessica barked. “Are you going to try to take him from me? Is that your goal?”

  “No.” Britney smirked. “I think that after everything he did to us, we should do something to him. And I’ve got just the scheme in mind…”

  The show cut away to a commercial. Caleb kept his attention glued to the screen even after the show cut away, processing what he’d seen. If Henry was lying to him, why didn’t he get to the bottom of it in the same way those women were going to? Caleb had seen enough soap operas to know that there was likely to be some convoluted plot designed to reveal the truth.

  Caleb didn’t need a convoluted plot. All he needed to do was meet Henry’s ploy with a ploy of his own. If Henry’s affection was real, Caleb would find out. If it wasn’t, he’d make Henry so uncomfortable that he dropped the ball and confessed.

  It would be the first game of gay chicken he’d ever played, but Caleb was up for the task. With nothing else to keep him busy but his upcoming doctor’s appointments, he had plenty of time to think his plans through.

  Caleb would start slow. A romantic dinner. Candlelight. Mood music and lighting. Some conversation. From there, if Henry didn’t drop his cause, he’d push it further. Kissing. Groping. A blowjob. More.

  He’d take it as far as Henry wanted to take it.

  And if, by some miracle, Henry was sincere about the kiss they’d shared?

  Caleb ran his left hand through his hair nervously and tried not to think about it. There was no point in getting his hopes up. A man like Henry could never fall for someone like him — it was out of the question.

  For now, all he needed to do was see his plan through to completion.

  He’d deal with the consequences later.

  Henry

  By the time Henry made it back to the house, his cheeks were red and frosty from the winter air. Hands shoved in the pockets of his coat, the top ridges of his ears burning, he unlocked the front door and stepped into the front hall. Two details struck Henry immediately. The first was that the dimmer lights were on and set to a medium-low light. The second was the smell of a pasta sauce that made his mouth water.

  He shed his coat and kicked off his boots, then headed toward the kitchen to see what was going on. If Caleb was having a guest over, he’d be glad to give him privacy, but he didn’t see why Caleb wouldn’t have texted him in advance. It would have saved Henry the time he’d spent walking back to the house.

  Caleb stood alone in the kitchen in front of a pot of boiling water. He stirred at it with a spoon, and when Henry entered the room, he looked over his shoulder and smiled. Henry’s heart jumped into his throat, and he resisted the urge to push his back against the door frame. Caleb was stunning when he smiled. Not even the angry red scars down the side of his face could take away from that.

  “Hey,” Caleb said softly. “I’m making dinner. Why don’t you go relax for a little while? I just put the pasta on, and it’ll be about fifteen minutes before everything’s ready.”

  “Are you having someone over?” Henry asked. The words tripped over his tongue, and his heart refused to settle back into place. Something about Caleb looked different, and as Henry’s eyes swept over him, he realized what it was — Caleb wasn’t hiding in a baggy hoodie. He wore a fitted sweater that accentuated his toned chest and tapered with the natural line of his hips. The pants he wore were just tight enough to give Henry a glimpse at his tight ass.

  Henry swallowed hard, suddenly feeling hot beneath the collar.

  “No. I figured it’d be nice to do something together tonight. Consider it my apology for my behavior this morning.” Caleb stirred at the pot of boiling water. There had to be pasta in there. Did they even have pasta in the house? Henry couldn’t recall buying any, and he was the last one who’d gone grocery shopping. Caleb didn’t go outside the house unless he was required to. “Go make yourself comfortable. Relax. You’ve had a long day at work.”

  There was no way this was real. It was as if he’d kissed a toad goodbye before work and come home to a prince. Henry had spent the rest of his day at Rustic Treasures trying to cope with his emotions, and he’d come to the conclusion that while he found Caleb attractive, he wasn’t ready for a relationship. The way Caleb had yelled made Henry nervous that he was just another Pritchard in disguise, and he definitely wasn’t ready to get sucked into something that might be dangerous to his psyche.

  No matter how tempting Caleb made it.

  “You don’t need help um, you know, with getting anything ready?” Henry stammered.

  “Nope.” Caleb smiled at him again, and Henry’s knees grew weak. “Go get settled. I’ll be done before you know it.”

  Henry couldn’t find any excuse to stay in the kitchen any longer, so he made his way into the dining room and sat at his spot. Caleb had hooked up a stereo system, and faint piano played through the speakers. Candles were lit and positioned as a centerpiece on the table. The silverware was already set.

  All of it screamed romance, and Henry wasn’t sure what to make of it. Sometimes, Pritchard had been overly nice when he was secretly angry, but Henry didn’t get an angry vibe from Caleb. It made the dinner feel all the more real, and it bothered him.

  If Caleb was gay, it only made giving in more tempting.

  He heard the sound of water draining in the sink. A pot clanked against the stove. Henry heard Caleb take out two plates, and soon enough, Caleb joined him in the dining room and set a plate of pasta in front of him. The meat sauce Caleb had made was rich and thick and smelled delicious, and Henry looked at him nervously as Caleb walked across the room and stooped down to open a cabinet. Inside was a wine rack, and he selected a bottle and broug
ht it back to the table.

  “It looks great,” Henry commented, looking from his pasta up to Caleb. Caleb opened up the wine and poured it into the glasses already set out. “You really didn’t have to go through all this trouble. Both of us were in the wrong this morning, and I’m not angry with you at all.”

  “I wanted to.” Caleb twisted the bottle as he set it upright. The work he did with his left hand was still a little sloppy, but Henry was sure his finesse would improve with time. “I realized the other day that you’ve been here for almost a week, but I don’t know much about you. I know you work part-time at Rustic Treasures and that you’re friends with Kota, but there has to be more there. I thought maybe tonight we could talk and get to know each other. What do you think?”

  Henry smiled, unable to help himself. He waited until Caleb was seated before he picked up his fork. “I think that I lead a pretty boring life and that there’s not a lot to know.”

  “I’m pretty sure there are plenty of things worth knowing,” Caleb countered. Henry had never heard him speak so much before, and more than that, Caleb was putting emotion into his words. He sounded easy-going and happy. “Everyone has a story, and even if you think that a story’s not worth telling, it definitely means the world to someone.”

  “Well…” What was there to say? Henry hesitated. There was no way he was going to open up about his past and the abuse that he’d suffered. At least, not yet. “I’m a college dropout with well-to-do parents who’s trying to find his way in life. I got, um, side-tracked for a few years, and now I’m back on the right path and trying to land a job that will kick-start my career.”

  “What kind of a career are you looking for?” Caleb asked. He took his first bite, and Henry relaxed. He pushed his fork through his spaghetti as he thought about his answer. It was more complex than he cared to admit.

  “Well, right now just something that can pay the bills and start to pad my savings. My parents want me to work beneath my father so they can groom me to take over for when he retires. He, well… he founded Weston Lumber, and the company operates lumberyards worldwide.” He paused and made a face. “He’s never chopped a tree in his life, but he’s a force to be reckoned with as a businessman. I’d be happier for something quieter, where I work beneath someone for a set salary. My father works all the time and is never home. One day, I hope to own my own house and settle down somewhere with someone special. That’s the big goal. The job is just a means to get there.”

  “I understand.” Caleb set his fork down, and while he took control of the situation, Henry ate. The pasta was delicious. “For me, it was the opposite. My career was my life and my passion, and now it’s gone. I lost everything over the course of a single day. Now I’m here.”

  “I’m sorry.” As much as Henry wanted to press for more information, he didn’t dare push too hard. He knew that Caleb could close back up in a second and he found himself enjoying Caleb’s company too much to risk that.

  “Don’t be. It’s not on you.” Caleb shrugged. “There’s been a lot of bad that’s come out of it, but there had been one good thing.”

  “What?” Henry asked.

  “I had the chance to meet you.”

  Henry’s hand trembled, and he had to set his fork down. His heart stuck tight in his throat, and his thoughts muddied. Caleb was flirting with him.

  Henry’s gut wanted him to go for it. The pull was undeniable, and it was a sin how good Caleb’s praise felt. But Henry knew when he was being weak, and he’d been through enough to recognize when submitting to a man was a bad idea. No matter how much he wanted to let Caleb take control, he couldn’t risk it. Independence meant standing up for himself.

  “Caleb,” Henry said softly, “I’m flattered, really. I’m glad that I met you, too.”

  The dim lights, the lovingly home-cooked meal, the wine, the music…all of it equated to something that Henry wasn’t comfortable offering. It was too soon, and too risky.

  To Henry’s surprise, Caleb let him continue speaking.

  “I’m not going to lie to you, because doing so would be dishonest. I’m attracted to you. I want you. The thing is, I went through some, um, side-tracking that was difficult, and I’m not ready for another relationship yet.” He lowered his voice and glanced at his plate. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I acted without thinking.”

  Henry was sure that Caleb would take the news poorly and ruin the beautiful atmosphere he’d created for the evening. Honesty was never easy to take, but it was necessary. Henry had to be true not only to himself, but to the people around him. It was the only way forward.

  “I’m not offended at all,” Caleb said after a moment’s consideration. Henry blinked, and looked up, surprised. “It’s hard to face the truth. I know that all too well. That you found the strength to tell me is impressive, and I really appreciate it.”

  There were no dishes being thrown and no wine being spilled. Caleb didn’t even raise his voice. Henry sank back in his chair and considered Caleb’s reaction, trying to understand how the man he spoke with tonight was the same one he’d spoken with earlier that morning. It didn’t make sense.

  “You’re welcome,” Henry said hesitantly.

  Dinner resumed. The topic of their mutual attraction to each other was dropped. Caleb steered the conversation toward getting to know Henry, and Henry found himself loosening up as the night moved on and they worked their way through the bottle of wine.

  It was the best conversation he’d had in a while, and Henry came away from dinner slightly buzzed and with a new appreciation for Caleb he hadn’t had before.

  Caleb was the man Henry thought he was, and at last, that man was making his way to the surface. The longer they spent together, the more Henry was sure that he’d understand who Caleb was in full.

  And when Caleb opened himself up in full? Henry would be there to welcome him with open arms.

  Caleb

  Caleb sat at the table for a while after Henry had left, thinking about their conversation. At first, Henry had been timid. He’d spoken slowly and selected the words he said carefully, as though afraid that Caleb might pounce on him at any minute and twist what he had to say to his disadvantage. The longer their conversation had gone on, the more Henry had loosened up until he felt comfortable enough to laugh along when Caleb told a joke. The formality disappeared. Caleb could tell he was from a rich family just by hearing him speak.

  What he didn’t expect was the news about Henry’s ‘side-tracking.’

  Caleb pushed leftover sauce around on his plate with his fork, putting together the clues Henry had dropped. There was no doubt that he was talking about an old boyfriend. The thought of Henry with another man stirred a possessive streak inside of Caleb and flared his temper, surprising him, but the thought of Henry with a man who didn’t treat him right? Caleb had to struggle to keep himself in check.

  Someone as sweet and thoughtful as Henry deserved to be treated with the utmost respect. Caleb didn’t know what had happened, but the way Henry dodged his gaze and mumbled his way through each time he had to bring up that time in his life made Caleb think that it was something more than a simple breakup.

  Henry didn’t show it on the outside, but on the inside, he was scarred. It was a common thread that bound them. Caleb longed to know more about what had happened, but he didn’t dare ask. He knew better than to poke his nose in business that didn’t concern him.

  Only Caleb was beginning to feel more and more like Henry’s problems did concern him. They may not have been lovers, but whatever trauma Henry had suffered from influenced his actions. The kiss, Caleb felt, tied into his past more intimately than Henry let on. Caleb was sure that Henry’s timid, meek nature was a product of that same trauma.

  Caleb had reacted to his injuries by walling himself off from the world and fighting tooth and claw to prove to those he knew that he wasn’t as helpless or as broken as he appeared. Henry had chosen to hide away.

  Exhausti
on tore Caleb from his thoughts, and he rubbed at his eye and collected his dinner plate. On his way to the kitchen, he blew out the candles clustered at the center of the table. The smell of smoke filled the room, a scent Caleb deplored more than anything.

  Smoke had torn his life apart. If it hadn’t been for the smoke inhalation, he would have made it out in time.

  Caleb left the room as quickly as he could, fleeing the smell. He put his dishes in the sink and left them to soak. Most nights, Caleb would have done the dishes immediately, but tonight he couldn’t keep his head on straight. Between his troubled thoughts about Henry and the dull throbbing now gaining force between his temples, he needed some solitude.

  He returned to his bedroom, shut the door, and listened as Henry settled into bed through the wall.

  If he closed his eyes, it was easy to imagine that no wall separated them at all.

  Caleb woke up in a cold sweat, throat scratched to hell. With a groan, he turned his head to check the time. It was closing in on nine o’clock in the morning. How had he slept through his alarm?

  The room was freezing. With a shiver, he pulled the blankets closer to his frame and wished that he’d had the foresight to leave last night’s sweater hanging from his bedpost. Leaving the warmth of the sheets felt like an impossible task as he was too cold and too sore to imagine trying.

  Why was he so cold? The pressure garments he wore at all times usually kept him overheated. Caleb reached down his body to find that he’d stripped off his pressure shirt overnight. It lay on the floor by the bed, and he felt far too cold and weak to go get it. In the back of his mind, he heard the doctor’s warning about keeping his scars pressurized at all times to help reduce their appearance, but Caleb couldn’t bring himself to reach. Not when he felt so chilled.